I actually posted the following story on another website a few years back, so some of you may have already read it. For that, I'm sorry.
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True Story time. When I was 10 or 11 years old, I was in a band called The Goonies. Now I want you to know that our band was formed somewhere around 1983, so that's a good two years before the movie by the same name came out.

Anyway, there were only two of us in the Goonies. Myself, of course, and Mark C. We didn't have a huge budget so we made do with the stuff we could find in our basements. I played lead ukulele and Mark played the 'drums', which were technically just duct-taped boxes. He had real drum sticks though, which beat the heck out of the boxes on a regular basis, which is why we needed the duct tape.

We both took turns singing.

I'd have to say the main influence on the Goonies was Def Leppard. There's nothing like hearing 'Rock of Ages' played on a ukulele and a TV box.

After we covered the entire Pyromania album, we started writing our own songs. The best thing about our songs is that they were never performed the same way twice. We made up new lyrics, new ukulele solos and box solos every time we performed them live. It was like a new tour everytime they saw us live.

All of our concerts were performed on my next door neighbor's front porch. The reason we used their front porch was because it was bigger than any of ours, plus our moms didn't like to hear our 'music'. Our crowd usually contained five people, all females between the ages of six and twelve. We charged ten cents a ticket so we had some money to buy more duct tape.

One day, one of our neighbor's (who I will not name) came to our concert and said that we played - I'm quoting her here - "DEVIL MUSIC" and asked for her dime back. That was the highlight of my career. The Goonies were ranked up there with Ozzy and AC/DC.

Later on in the Goonies career, Andy S., a kid that lived across the street, asked us if he could join the band. He had a real guitar, so we said, "Why not?" Well, Andy started telling us that we needed to change this and that, and we took it as long as we could until he told us that "Def Leppard sucks."

He was fired after his first show.

Our set list for every show went as follows:

Stagefright- Mark sang this Def Leppard song that starts out, "I said welcome to my show". It was the perfect opener, except we had a very conservative crowd, so we had to replace the "damn" with "darn".

Rock, Rock 'Til You Drop- I was lead vocals on this Def Lep song. I usually made up my own lyrics because I had no idea what Joe Elliot was saying on the real song.

Mr. Potatohead- A song written and sung by Mark that contained these fine lyrics: "Oh I'm Mr. Potatohead. Oh I'm Mr. Potatohead. Oh I'm Mr. Potatohead and I HATE YOU!!!" (repeat 8 times, ukulele solo, box solo, repeat three more times) When he would scream, "I HATE YOU", the crowd would go nuts, by throwing dandelions at Mark.

Rock of Ages- Mark did the opening "Gunter glieben glauchen globen" and I shouted the rest, once again, making up most of the lyrics.

Too Late For Love- Mark singing his heart out while banging the boxes. Tears were shed during many of the concerts.

Pork & Beans- I sang this Mark-penned tune about gaseous foods, and then we left stage until we were called out for an encore. Sometimes we had to wait a few hours before they called us back. Sometimes we just called ourselves back out.

ENCORE:

Come on Feel the Noize- We went a little crazy by playing a Quiet Riot song. The crowd didn't know what had hit them. They were on their feet for most of the first line.

I'm Gonna Kick Your Butt- Another crowd pleaser from Mark. When he'd get to the part that he'd yell, "I'm gonna kick you butt so hard that you're gonna have hemorrhoids!", the crowd was ready to leave.

Now I know what you're all saying, "Did you guys ever make a record?" Sort of.

One day at school, Mark & I were trying to impress some of the 'babes' by telling them that we were in a band. This made most of the guys in our class jealous. Not that we were in the band, but that we could actually talk to girls.

To make a long story longer, Brad R. asked us if we had a tape. We said we did, but he had to pay five bucks for it, which he did. Since we knew he would never accept our own music on a tape for five bucks, we recorded the Loverboy Keep It Up album on the cassette and gave it to him. I'm not sure, but I think whenever Brad hears the song, "Hot Girls in Love" on the radio, he thinks it's the Goonies.

Well, after the movie came out, we had to either change names or break up. We broke up. Our press release stated that we broke up because of 'artistic differences', but the real reason was that the ukulele was not the chick magnet that I thought it would be.